Several times in the last few days I've thought about posting, but I'm realizing I don't know quite what to write about...
Samara has slept through the night beautifully four nights in a row and last night was the first night since she's been born that I slept through the night (meaning, I never woke up enough to look at the clock until the alarm rang at 5:00am). Is this what the blog is about? Updating cyberspace on Samara's and my sleep patterns?
We took Samara on a stroller ride in downtown Holland last Saturday. She wore a pink polka-dot dress and a flopsy pink hat with a flower on it. And no shoes. She sucked her fingers and jabbered all the way down 8th street. We introduced her to some tulips. She quietly pinched them - all the while trying to keep as much of her feet as possible off the prickly green grass. Is this what the blog is about? Yammering about how cute Samara is as she discovers the world?
This morning I saw something I decided I really needed to blog about.
On my way in to work I saw a sign outside of a church. You know the signs - Bible verses and poems and sermon titles and catchy phrases. I'm not a big fan of these signs because in attempting to say a little something they say a big something and it's usually not that helpful. Anyway - the sign I saw this morning said, "Live for eternity and you won't mind dying." Hm.
I took special note of this sign because just last night, Tim and I had a longish talk about eternity (these are the kinds of conversations we can have again, now that Samara goes to bed three hours before we do!). Tim and I are both a little bit squeamish about it. Perhaps that's not the right word. I get out of breath when I think - really think - about eternity. And Tim gets frightened. Sometimes it is so hard to imagine - or maybe it's so hard to believe - that when we live on the new earth, life will never, ever end. Like Tim said last night, "Everything I have ever known in this life has a beginning and an end. But I don't have an end. And that's hard to think about."
My heart wants there to be something more after death - and I believe that there will be. But do I really long for that much more? Day after day after month after year after decade after century after millenium... Whew.
The Preacher says, God has placed eternity in our hearts and yet we cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end (Ecc. 3:11). Our hearts want it, but our minds can't quite think it yet. I'm glad that it's not just our bodies that will be resurrected - we will have new-earth minds as well - minds that will be able to comprehend eternity - or at least minds that won't work themselves into a panic over things they can't understand - minds that stay in the present moment.
So, perhaps the above is blog-worthy. I'm not sure. I know that it will probably take a while before I find my blog-voice. In the mean time, posts might be a bit random.
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3 comments:
I love Samara's photo. Very sweet. I'm glad you're getting sleep and able to spend time being a wife/friend. Being a mommy is wonderful I love it, but sometimes it's nice to take off the burp cloth and homework hat, and just try and relax a little.
Eternity is hard to wrap your head around. how wonderful that you can have conversations like that once again.
Karla W
I love your musings, Heid. I remember when I was younger and I used to try to think about eternity that I would start to feel almost physically dizzy. Now I find that I just don't really think about it; I seem to get distracted and caught up in the stupid little details - like how big is the new Earth going to be, anyway, in order for all of us to fit on it? And will there still be population growth? And if there's not, what kind of perfect place doesn't have babies? You know, the important stuff. :) On the other hand, there are days when I'm walking outside, maybe beneath the cherry blossoms with a happy baby in the stroller, and my heart is filled to bursting with joy in the God who made it all... and I look around with the knowledge that not one person on this busy street with me is able to share that joy. That's when I really look forward to that new creation - when each person who passes by is someone who knows the same joy.
As to the blog voice, I agree that it's a challenge and I've enjoyed reading everything you've written so far. If you look back to the very beginning of my blog, I had a pretty scattered approach. And what works in Japan might not work so well back in Michigan, when the blog isn't so important for sharing our lives.
Anyway, I think that this is the longest comment I've ever written, so I'll quit trying to hijack your blog now. ;)
I like it that you're blogging! :) Sometimes the mediocre needs to come out, first, and the rest will follow.
It's kind of the whole point of writing like this--at least for me-- because I need to be able to transition from the surface and superficial to the deeper stuff. However, that doesn't happen till I've submitted myself to writing about simple things (it can be hard to admit that it's actually what you think about) before getting into the heavy questions about the meaning of life.
Besides, no one will take you seriously if you only ever write about the deep things of life. We need to hear about you, too.
:) So.... about getting some coffee before school's out.... any ideas? :) :)
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